habbit

...I never finish what I start... And this, is just one of the many things about myself that bugs the shit from my body! Is it possible for me, this time, to return to my blog, day after day, month after month? For those of you who do read, I promise truth... Sometimes DRAMA... Humor... Rage... Love... Regret... simply put... access to a place most never reach... Behind the wall... of ... ME....

I woke this morn to the same fuck'in thing that has tormented me the last 2 years of my life. The Bird in the living room! God I hate this thing. I pray for its death every night of my existance. As of late, the worst part of my mornning is waking in pain, pain from a fall I had in August at 60 mph from my loved Honda. Wear your helmet, heavey jacket and gloves... IT WILL SAVE YOUR ASS! The only reason I was wearing all 3 this night was because it was cold. I hate the cold... I hate being dead more. I am currently 2 days out of my candy a.ka. Vicodin... I have had 2 before bed every night for the last month and a half, and it has been the best sleep of my life ... till 2 days ago. I haven' t slept a wink since, hence me writng now at 2:53 am. So I am currently seeking a Candy-Man to come put me to bed at night, and not in that hardend prison sort of way.

Women... Ladies...Girls... also an addiction thats hard to break. With each woman I become involved with, the more I realize that I really don't know myself as well as I previously thought, nor the new lows I am capable of stooping to... If everyone carried a bag around filled with their bad karma, most days I wouldn't be able to leave my bed. I have wronged too many people in my life and I wish someday, each one of them knows the sarrow, and shame I feel for the pain I have cause them. Today, I don't like who I am... I hope tomorrow will make a bettter man of me. I truley want to be a better man...